The article is spot on—social comparison is inevitable. But balance is key! We are all not created the same—just like a hand with long and short fingers, our differences make the world a more interesting place. Cheers.
Thank you Robin. I think so too. I’m always looking for the third option, the third point of view or insight. It doesn’t always have to be a choice between left and right
This is a reminder that everyone is special in their own way. Faults and all. Being true to yourself always shines through in the end and captures people's hearts. Great article for keeping us on track! Thank you. 🙏
Your approach to overcome upward comparison is quite courageous. I tackle it by developing more awareness of how these comparisons are unfair. We tend to compare our single weak attributes to the multiple strong attributes of others. Theory breakdown was worth reading.
This really resonated, Ben. That familiar pang of envy is something I think most of us wrestle with, especially in creative work where visibility feels like a currency. I love the way you frame social comparison not as something to be avoided, but something to be understood and redirected. The idea that we can lean into it rather than resist it makes so much sense, it’s wired into us, so why not learn to use it as fuel rather than a weight?
Your point about reaching out to the people we compare ourselves to is a game-changer. So often, the pedestal is an illusion, and seeing the reality of someone’s process is enough to turn distance into connection, envy into insight. It’s a reminder that none of us are moving in isolation, even when it feels that way. Looking forward to what you’re building behind the scenes!
A solution I have found is to actually reach out to these people and try to build a relationship with them. - Such a great idea. You realise they are just like you.They will also have people they compare their progress to.
Social comparison is a topic I never tire of exploring. Perhaps because of how deeply it shapes daily life. I really appreciate how you went beyond the surface, unpacking the emotions it stirs. Envy, especially, is all-consuming and often weighs most heavily on the person feeling it.
You’re right, people here are open and approachable. That’s been my experience too, and you are one of them. A few weeks ago, I interacted with you through a note you left, and your words stayed with me in a really positive way. I’ll forever be grateful to you for that.
Wishing you all the best on this journey. And if our paths ever cross for a Substack collaboration, I’d be delighted :)
My newsletter is two months old now & I didn’t expect you to remember me :)
The idea was more to show you that you’re walking around in this world, impacting people in a positive way without even knowing it (long-term too!). And I’m sure I’m not the only one.
In reply to your note back then, I shared how grateful I was for my experience on Substack at that point, despite only being on the platform for a month and having just seven followers. You praised my attitude and encouraged me to keep going.
This is one of the reasons I've really loved working stuff out here on Substack. "Social media" as it were, and Substack is kinda veering towards that a little bit, definitely fulfills that innate social comparison need but then almost turbo charges it with the dopamine component. It's like the worst parts of what Festinger imagined all bundled up together. Escaping the mind matrix and rediscovering myself through extended writing and reading of Substacks like yours has been a real breath of fresh air.
I really loved this piece, you put into words what I have not been able to as of yet. It also has so much more for me to sit and contemplate. Thank you for the direction, the healing and validation.
I love the way you described how trying not to compare keeps comparison at the top of my mind.
I find visualizing what I’m doing helps me remember someone is right next to me doing the same thing but most likely getting a different result.
I publish to a digital bookshelf I created in my mind when I first tried to publish online. I’m adding stories to that bookshelf all the time. It’s in a great library with little reading chairs in millions of homes across the world.
I never know when you will run your fingers down my stack and happen upon one particular story. So I try to make sure it would feel good to pick up each story and read it.
That’s my job when I write. I can’t do your job but I’m sure happy for you when you are successful. If you’re having a hard go of it, I feel for you and hope you’ll try again. We all are inventing this as we go along. Even the algorithm sifts and sorts whatever is served up as the main course each day. In a way it’s a measure of group-think when the group is global.
I refuse to join a group- funk. That’s my one rule. Misery loves company but two or more miserable people can start a mob or a pile-on. I won’t go there.Have you ever noticed that.
I really like your tip about being mindful about what content you consume and "focus on creation rather than comparison."
What a growth-mindset way to approach reading content!
The article is spot on—social comparison is inevitable. But balance is key! We are all not created the same—just like a hand with long and short fingers, our differences make the world a more interesting place. Cheers.
Thank you Robin. I think so too. I’m always looking for the third option, the third point of view or insight. It doesn’t always have to be a choice between left and right
This is a reminder that everyone is special in their own way. Faults and all. Being true to yourself always shines through in the end and captures people's hearts. Great article for keeping us on track! Thank you. 🙏
Thanks Alyson. I think we all need to remind ourselves of this from time to time to stay grounded
The people you envy are probably looking at someone else and feeling the same thing. Nobody ever "arrives."
There’s always another level. The only real solution is to get comfortable with where you are while still pushing for more.
Easier said than done, but worth the effort.
Totally. Things normalise very quickly.
Your approach to overcome upward comparison is quite courageous. I tackle it by developing more awareness of how these comparisons are unfair. We tend to compare our single weak attributes to the multiple strong attributes of others. Theory breakdown was worth reading.
Yes true. Everyone goes through it some extent even those that seem to have everything you’ve ever wanted
This really resonated, Ben. That familiar pang of envy is something I think most of us wrestle with, especially in creative work where visibility feels like a currency. I love the way you frame social comparison not as something to be avoided, but something to be understood and redirected. The idea that we can lean into it rather than resist it makes so much sense, it’s wired into us, so why not learn to use it as fuel rather than a weight?
Your point about reaching out to the people we compare ourselves to is a game-changer. So often, the pedestal is an illusion, and seeing the reality of someone’s process is enough to turn distance into connection, envy into insight. It’s a reminder that none of us are moving in isolation, even when it feels that way. Looking forward to what you’re building behind the scenes!
Exactly. This is not a journey in isolation but a shared experience. I’m trying to lean into the collaborative experience as much as passivel
A solution I have found is to actually reach out to these people and try to build a relationship with them. - Such a great idea. You realise they are just like you.They will also have people they compare their progress to.
Exactly. It’s a never ending cycle.
We are all in the same boat 🛥️
Super helpful, Benjamin! You've given me steps to tackle that green monster!
🧌love it 😀
Social comparison is a topic I never tire of exploring. Perhaps because of how deeply it shapes daily life. I really appreciate how you went beyond the surface, unpacking the emotions it stirs. Envy, especially, is all-consuming and often weighs most heavily on the person feeling it.
You’re right, people here are open and approachable. That’s been my experience too, and you are one of them. A few weeks ago, I interacted with you through a note you left, and your words stayed with me in a really positive way. I’ll forever be grateful to you for that.
Wishing you all the best on this journey. And if our paths ever cross for a Substack collaboration, I’d be delighted :)
Thank you Dom for those kind words. Which note was that? I’m sorry I have to admit I’ve forgotten. How long have you been here on substack?
Hi Benjamin,
My newsletter is two months old now & I didn’t expect you to remember me :)
The idea was more to show you that you’re walking around in this world, impacting people in a positive way without even knowing it (long-term too!). And I’m sure I’m not the only one.
In reply to your note back then, I shared how grateful I was for my experience on Substack at that point, despite only being on the platform for a month and having just seven followers. You praised my attitude and encouraged me to keep going.
That meant a lot.
Well I’m glad I did. I hope you’re enjoying the journey so far :)
This is one of the reasons I've really loved working stuff out here on Substack. "Social media" as it were, and Substack is kinda veering towards that a little bit, definitely fulfills that innate social comparison need but then almost turbo charges it with the dopamine component. It's like the worst parts of what Festinger imagined all bundled up together. Escaping the mind matrix and rediscovering myself through extended writing and reading of Substacks like yours has been a real breath of fresh air.
Thanks Nick. Yes we shouldn’t underestimate it but repeated reframing helps us to stay grounded
I really loved this piece, you put into words what I have not been able to as of yet. It also has so much more for me to sit and contemplate. Thank you for the direction, the healing and validation.
I love the way you described how trying not to compare keeps comparison at the top of my mind.
I find visualizing what I’m doing helps me remember someone is right next to me doing the same thing but most likely getting a different result.
I publish to a digital bookshelf I created in my mind when I first tried to publish online. I’m adding stories to that bookshelf all the time. It’s in a great library with little reading chairs in millions of homes across the world.
I never know when you will run your fingers down my stack and happen upon one particular story. So I try to make sure it would feel good to pick up each story and read it.
That’s my job when I write. I can’t do your job but I’m sure happy for you when you are successful. If you’re having a hard go of it, I feel for you and hope you’ll try again. We all are inventing this as we go along. Even the algorithm sifts and sorts whatever is served up as the main course each day. In a way it’s a measure of group-think when the group is global.
I refuse to join a group- funk. That’s my one rule. Misery loves company but two or more miserable people can start a mob or a pile-on. I won’t go there.Have you ever noticed that.
I enjoyed your article Benjamin.
Usually what bothers us is people projecting our best selves.
The things we could have been doing but we are not.
It would be good instead of hating them for being more successful to reach for their help and make questions even offer our insights.
At least this is what I do.
I often reach at you because you are doing great and your work resonates with mine.